Today I'm off to get some bloodwork done. I have an appointment on April 10 with the only doctor in town who does DI, and he wants the bloodwork done over again, even though I just had it done a few months ago. Not really a hardship, but sometimes I think doctors just order things for kicks. Like he needs to see the forms with his name on top, just so he can feel good. Boring, predictable doctors.
It's dawning on me that April 10 is not that far away, and I'm going to push to start trying as soon as my cycles allow after I see this Dr. for the first time. I think their protocol for DI is automatic Clomid, which I'd like to avoid. I'm thinking at this point I'd like to try unmedicated cycles at least twice and then reconsider, if necessary, after that. There are a number of reasons why I'm hoping to avoid the drugs, but I think it comes down in some ways to feeling like I want to do things as naturally as possible. And by naturally, I mean with the fewest interventions. It's just what feels right to me.
I'm intuitive. It's how I make decisions. For all my abilities to be rational in some spheres of life, I just don't make life decisions in my head. I make them in my gut. Sometimes I get down on myself about this, and start to doubt whether I'm making the right choice, because a rational choice might be something different. I'm still questioning whether I should do the first couple of cycles unmedicated - I really want a baby. Soon. Now. So why am I reluctant to do everything that would maximize the possibility of having a baby sooner rather than later?
Right now it's because my intuition is telling me I don't need the drugs. I am scared of the side effects, and long term effects of any hormonal medications, and I do have some serious trust issues with doctors who think they know what's right for everybody, whether they've met or examined them or not. But really, deep down, I believe my body is fine, and that I can do this on my own. Well, sort of. If, by "on my own," I mean without drugs, but with my husband holding my hand while the Dr. threads a catheter through my cervix to deposit the sperm of a third man, unknown to any of us, into my uterus, then yes, I believe I can do this on my own.
I really hope I'm right. I get scared, reading all the stories of failed treatements, failed IUIs, miscarriages. I don't know what I'd do if I had to go through what so many women out there have gone through. Right now, I don't even feel strong enough to handle more than a few tries without some good news. But my gut is telling me right now to believe my intuition instead of my fear. So I guess that's what I'll do for now.
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I'm all about trusting my gut. It doesn't often let me down.
My doc pushes clo.mid IUI combos too, because the IUI is the bulk of the expense. But I am in the same place as you... I feel like unmedicated IUIs... your body still gets a little more choice in the matter? I don't know.
Good luck with the new doctor. I hope everything goes quickly for you! It will be April before you know it.
I think you are spot on to trust your instincts until proven otherwise. I mean, if you go see your RE and they make a case to you that makes you reconsider your instincts, then it may be time to change your mind. But until then, there's no reason whatsoever for you to not stick to your guns and explain your clom.id hesitancies to your doc.
I have the same hesitancies that you do, in that I think that I want to keep trying without the drugs for as long as I comfortably can. I generally resist any prescription medication until I have done enough research and tried naturally enough on my own to resolve whatever issue (except when it comes to pain meds, 'cos if there's a misfiring pain signal, I have no problem whatsoever with pharmaceutically "interrupting" that bad signal).
Yeah, believe in yourself, and trust yourself. If there's enough of a reason to change your mind, you will find that out in good time.
I think there is definitely something to be said for trying to do things as naturally as possible. Especially if you are comfortable there is nothing wrong to prevent it from working.
And any doctor worth his or her degree should listen to your preferences and help you decide the best course of action without pushing you in one direction simply because that is the standard protocol. Every body is different.
We switched to a natural FET this cycle simply because I felt like the drugs were screwing with my lining rather than making it better. It remains to be seen whether it made the difference or not.
Good for you-- seems like a truly healthy outlook. I pretty much have taken everything my RE handed me, and I wonder if it was the right decision.... I just started acupuncture and that is the first non-invasive treatment I have done. Although I am not sure if it is going to help me at this point, I wish I had discovered it when I was going au naturale...
I agree with you on trying to do naturally the things that can be done in a natural way.
Since docs often don't trust gut checks, you may want to use the argument that so long as you are ovulating on your own without meds, you'd like to try an unmedicated cycle.
I'd also discuss your concerns about the meds.
I definitely think you should follow your intuition. I mean, chicks get knocked up all the time - who's to say you won't be one of them? You can always chose to add drugs later. I'm not really one for drugs and believe me, if I had a choice...
Your menu by the way, sounds FANTASTIC. I can't stand how good all those comments over at Kate's sound. Glad to know you can enjoy the food porn at least.
I did unmedicated cycles for the first 3 IUIs. I figured the doctor checked EVERYTHING possible and there is no reason why I can't get pregnant, and I have MS. It would be better for my health if I didn't take any hormone meds (Clomid, etc). However, 3 months of negatives are hard to take. So, now I'm on month 3 of Clomid. We'll see. When I told the doctor I wanted to do unmedicated cycles he just said it would take longer.
Oh, and w/unmedicated they want to you see you much more frequently for monitoring (blood work & ultrasound) unless you are totally positive about when you ovulate. I wasn't. Mostly because my husband is infertile and I knew it so I had never kept track of that sort of thing. I did not even know what positive ovulation test looked like.
I am usually all about the drugs. If Clomid and injectables make more targets for the sperm, I'm all about that.
But I've gotta admit that I hate that HCG shot. I hate the side effects. It makes my breasts so sore that it hurts to wear a seatbelt. And I CAN ovulate on my own, thank goodness. I have predictable cycles.
So I get what you are saying. If your body does something naturally, there is no reason to manipulate it.
I don't know. My response is "maybe head and gut should come to a compromise"?
Start slow. You can always go further when you feel ready. It took me and my guy years to even go see an RE, forget take Clomid. Do a few non-med cycles, knowing realistically how long it may take; it sounds like you're in great shape, so it may not take long at all.
About Clomid. It's not that bad, even for very hormonally sensitive me. But don't go there until you're up for it. Otherwise, you may be sitting there thinking, "but what if I'd tried naturally for a few months..."
Thanks for your comment on my blog... sounds like we're both doing some thinking about going the 'less-thinking' route to decision making.
I learned a few years ago that I have a tendency to drive and turn around 5 mintutes from my destination. People asked why, and its because I was convinced I'd gone to far, had clearly missed the turn. Really it was that my gut always tells me when I'm close, I just was misreading it as 'warning you've gone too far' Now I hear that inner voice and use it to make it around one more bend. I've start trying this with my life, and I often find that taking that extra month means some perfect piece of information, an opportunity, or other thing appears and makes the decision making so much clear.
Best of luck. I'm sure your gut will lead you well.
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