The sweet and charming Io has less than 3ed me. And I also got a drive-by from the fabulous and clever Kate. Awwwww! I feel almost as good as I do every morning when my sweet little doggy is waiting for me and wagging his tail outside my bedroom door despite Manny having gotten up ages ago and being downstairs with awake hands for petting and feeding and suchlike. So much love!
So now I get to share the love around, and I'm going to Less-than-three Spicy Sister, who writes the most beautiful posts that you can practically see the light radiating out of her enormous heart. (And I mean that in the figurative sense of big-heartedness, not the impending-death-from-heart-failure sense.) I also Less-than-three First Comes Love for her honest writing style and one of the tidiest blogs around. Seriously, how do you do it, First Comes Love? I've only been around for not even 2 months and I'm already needing to do a serious overhall to my sidbar to clean things up. But also you just seem like a nice girl to drink some tea with, and in my book, that makes you a good friend. Maybe we'd cry, maybe we'd laugh. But some serious tea would get drunk - pass the soymilk and the honey, would you?
I can't believe tomorrow is Friday. Life is busy with the sweetest darlingest cutiest little dog in town, but good, too. I went and saw my counsellor today and we discussed 2 topics. First, we talked about my neighbour, she of all the drama a while back. My counsellor confirmed my instincts that I just can't be friends with this neighbour right now. Things just got too dysfunctional between us. I'll be friendly if I see her out in the yard, but I just can't reach out to her the way I was before everything went to shit a few weeks ago. I feel sort of bad about it, because it feels like I'm dropping her because she is mentally unwell. But she was doing everything she could to manipulate me, and when I finally said "no," she basically became verbally abusive. And I guess I'm healthy enough now to be able to choose something other than putting myself in relationships like that. So in the end, my feelings of guilt over letting our friendship wither are trumped by my feelings of care for myself. It feels weird and good.
The other thing I talked about with my counsellor was how I can get hornier. Or maybe just horny would do. Why did I waste all my hormones when I was young and slutty? It's like I have premature hornarian failure. It's not like I'm not into sex if it's actually happening - I definitely am. But trying to get there - I mean, just trying to get to the point where I even think it will be more appealing than sleeping, or blogging, or doing a hard sudoku (note to the uninitiated: nowhere near as dirty as it sounds) - dudes, it is not easy these days. The whole IF stuff is definitely a part of all this, but I think there's more to it. I won't bore you with all my theories, but the important part is: I have a plan. Whether it will turn me back into the humptastic young thing I was 15 years ago, only time will tell. Time and the smile on my face.
10 comments:
Oh, to be the humptastic horny slut I was in my youth. Man, I feel your pain with that.
And with your neighbor, I think your counselor is right on. She has become someone whose pain you do not need to carry anymore. You have extended a hand and she has yanked and pulled and clawed that hand. Enough is enough. Courtesy is never overrated, but abuse is never ever okay.
And btw, I really appreciate your comments on my blog. They are always so thoughtful. I can tell that you actually read most of the drivel that I write, and for that unending patience that you have displayed, I want to thank you. So, "Thank You."
Glad you have come to terms with your neighbor situation. Can you share your plan or is it your little secret? I am worried I have just given up. But the sex after abstaining is pretty fun too!
Hmm...can I just say ditto to everything Kate said? Because she used all the words I wanted to use!
I don't know where I found all the energy for my mojo workin' in college, but it is so gone. Since Al had surgery we haven't had any boom chicka boom boom. And I can't say it's really bothered me. So sad.
"It's like I have premature hornarian failure."
priceless! I do know that babymaking does have a tendency to take the fun & appeal out of sex. Maybe try just having non-sexual alone time. Try some make-out on the couch sessions, get some massage oil & learn some shiatsu...maybe if it's not about making a baby & just about being together it will help light the pilot again...
Ah, the sex drive. Yup, it's a struggle. Especially now that I'm using these fertility meds. Usually once I get started I can get into it. What did I do to improve things (my plan)? We visited one of those s.ex stores and I love my Mr. Shaky.
My other tips would include fun toys or maybe some visual aids- if you think you could be into that- or some good old fashioned foreplay...
the only other things I can think of sound like they are straight out of Cosmo- Leave each other naughty little notes or voicemails throughout the day. Wear you sexiest I feel special lingerie to work. That kind of stuff...
I don't know about any others- I think a lot of people like wordpress better- I'm not super technical so this is really the first time blogger let me down. I have almost a year's worth of posts & I don't really want to start all over again right now- so I'm going to put up with it a little while longer at least!
ROFL, "humptastic"....::wipes tear from eye and drags self of floor:: OMG, thank you...I needed that today. =)
I'm glad you got things figured out about the neighbor, and I really hope you can get your hory on!
"Premature Hornarian Failure" totally almost made me spit my water all over my Mac.
Thanks for your comment and words of support on my blog. It means a lot to have that strength.
God, I would love to learn the secret to getting my sex drive back. Like you, I enjoy doing it when I'm there, but actually wanting to go there? I'm just not that interested. Sadly, I don't think J is all that interested anymore either. Not opposed, you know, but not that enthusiastic.
Babymaking is part of it, but I can't imagine it's any better with an actual, you know, CHILD around! I mean, if I can't find the energy now, when the big event of my evening is settling in to watch Battlestar Gallactica, what are the odds I'm going to be interested in sex when I'm exhausted? And there's a freakin' KID in my house???
We're totally doomed.
hahaha I need to find a counselor to talk about that too. :-)
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