Goddamnit, I'm weak. Weak of mind. I have still been enjoying the hopeful possibility of right now, but I've also been obsessing over every detail. I'm super tired every day? A sign. I have a weird patch of eczema-like scaly skin around my mouth? A sign. The fact that this is the month in which Mother's Day, my parents' and my in-laws' wedding anniversaries, Manny's birthday, and probably lots of other important sign-y events fall? A sign. Constant hunger and ability to eat literally twice as many Korean short ribs as Manny the other night? A sign. Occasional heartburn? A sign. The fact that I have yet to have any other symptoms? A sign. The fact that I just planted a WHOLE SCHWACK-LOAD OF SEEDS IN MY FERTILE, WELL-CARED-FOR, ORGANIC GARDEN? A serious mother-fucking sign.
Never mind reason, never mind the fact that every single one of these facts can easily be explained away, except my face-plague, which could be down to me having eaten eggs a few times last week, or my delicious home-made granola which I've been eating every single day since I made it last Sunday, but I don't know why that would be the problem, unless I've suddenly developped an allergy to something I was never allergic to before. But if I did, that's probably a sign.
Bloody hell, friends. I'm making myself mental. I got 5 free home pregnancy tests when I ordered my OPKs online, and they would all be pee-soaked by now if I thought it would do me any good.
All your wonderful wishes and advice on surviving the 2ww have been fantastic. Except didn't someone say that it's really the second week that is the worst? If that turns out to be true in my case, I am so utterly fucked.
My clinic will do a blood draw on day 35, which is next Saturday, provided I haven't got my period by then. I didn't ask if they do day 35 because that's how long my cycles usually are, or if that's just coincidentally the day they do them. Almost certainly the former. But my wait-addled mind is taking it as a sign anyway.
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I took half a dozen tests during my second week of wait. Each was negative and I gave up, feeling despondent. I had one last test and took it the day before my period was due. It was positive. With hindsight, I wish I had been able to just wait it out until my period was due.
I hope this is your last two week wait! I hope that, mostly because I hope that you are pregnant. But, I also feel like it's just a sucky time. Kinda makes ya mental, just wondering! :)
Bwahahaha! I totally read "fertile well-cared-for organic garden" and was like "Huh, that's a new name for vagina I haven't head before."
Uh, I am a little slow. Perhaps you can take it as a sign...
Charlie says hi to you and Lucky.
I hope next week goes by very very quickly.
Ugh... welcome to the 2WW. It's so hard to not go crazy with thinking about everything.
I hope the second week slides by for you.
To POAS or not to POAS, that is the question. I'd say good luck, but when you use science, it shouldn't be a question of luck, right? Arrgh - stay off of Google or you will go crazy!
I've also heard that excessive need to wet a peestick is a sign! ;)
Gah. The two week wait is complete torture! I hope the second week isn't worse for you. I'd hate for you to be utterly fucked.
I am all about the signs. For the first four days, I felt like total shit and could not stop thinking it was a sign I was preggers. Then, suddenly, a few days ago I started feeling better. More energy, less headaches, capable of going a full hour without eating. You know what I thought? "Maybe THIS means I'm pregnant."
Sheesh. The only thing you can do is remember it doesn't mean ANYTHING. (That's actually my 2ww mantra. I literally say, over and over again all day, whenever anything suggests I might be pregnant, "It doesn't mean anything.")
Thanks for the invite! I've really missed you.
I have a love/hate relationship with the 2ww. Looking for all those signs everywhere kind of allows you to live in this more alive, more aware way - and that is really rare. And during my 2ww I tried to think positive - "as far as I know right now, I am (or could be) pregnant." getting to feel that (even all those times it was simply imagined) was actually a bit sweet, and it helped me not to test too soon because I wanted to stay in that place as long as possible. But then there is the part of it I hate, the uncertainty, the lack of control, and the dreadful dreadful waiting. I hope for you a wait that is rich with meaning and "signs" and that it ends with the very best news ever!!!!
The second week is worse for me but I usually give in and start peeing on sticks as soon as I physically can. The waiting just kills me!
Since I have given up all hope that I will get preggo the tww is not so bad anymore.
But gardening is a good distraction... very symbolic. Whenever I get frustrated about IF I look at my garden and think "at least I can grow SOMETHING."
Movies are nice, eating out with friends who don't know you are in the 2 week wait. Fun times!
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