the skinny

Ok, so after freaking Vee out a bit, I guess I should clarify what yesterday's post meant. I had my first insemination yesterday and my second today. I've been waiting so long just to get here, just to start treatment. And it feels awesome, being here. It feels strangely right, like this is how it was meant to be all along.

When I peed on an OPK yesterday and saw that I was surging, I just freaked right out. I expected it, but I wasn't prepared. It just suddenly became real and all my hope and excitement and joy just flooded me. And Manny, too. We joked in the car the whole way to the clinic and through the wait and through the ICI and afterwards. And again today.

It's fun right now, and I'm enjoying it. I have the occasional thought that I should rein myself in, but that'll come soon enough. Might as well enjoy the good stuff when it happens, right?

We'll see how I go with the wait. Right now I'm taking everything as a sign, and no doubt I will keep doing that for the next two weeks. If I don't get my period, my clinic will do a blood test on day 35. It is day 22 today.

I know that statistically speaking I shouldn't be this excited, but I just am. According to Dr. Rational, I had beautiful fertile cervical fluid yesterday, and the nurse complimented me on m open cervix today. These are just two of the dozens of signs I have observed that this is going to work, and are by far the most reasonable. I'm quite certain the signs are going to get more random as the days go on here.

Also, all my excitement is coming out here, as we are in total lockdown mode with folks in real life. My family and a few friends have a vague idea that we're starting to try, but I won't be telling them anything until there is a pregnancy to announce, and even that not until I'm at least 8 weeks, more likely 12. It will be kind of torture to wait that long, but that's what Manny and I have agreed on. For now. We'll see if I can keep my pie hole shut for that long.

One good thing is that next week Manny is off work and we'll be together the whole time, and the week following, I start my new job. Yay! Money! So I'll be occupied next week, and the week after I'll be busy learning how to do this job, so I'm sure that will help take my mind off the wait.

I wish I had fun, clever, creative things to say. But I'm just feeling too bubbly to have my thoughts settle for long enough to think anything through. Maybe this is down to all the sugar I've eaten today - my aunt brought over homemade lemon meringue pie (from scratch) that was amazing, and then I've just been eating some delicious chocolates. Mmm, sugar makes my brain all funny.